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April 30 the rant about stupid people 4I just read an incredibly stupid story the other day. I'm not allowed to reprint it but I can give you a link to it here:
Seriously? If it isn't dumb enough to leave your 3 children home alone, all of whom are under 4 years old, you did it so you could watch Jerry Springer??? Were you a guest? If not you should be. Jerry Springer is one of the people I loathe simply because he panders to the lowest common denominator just to get ratings. The more outrageous or trashy the guests are the higher his ratings go. It's shows like this that lower the IQ of the people who watch it until the viewers are so dumb they leave their 4 year old children home alone to go see the catfights and drunken slobs in person.
Another stupid person strikes again: Now it's men like this who should be sterilized. The guy goes into a strip club with his 4 year old son sitting in the back seat of his car. He left the boy alone in the car and told him that if he got out of the car monsters would eat him. Then he goes inside to watch strippers. The car doors were unlocked, it was cold and raining out, and the car was parked a few meters away from a 4-lane street. Eventually the boy gets out of the car to look for his dad and wanders into the strip club, and guy gets arrested. He posted $500 bond and was released from the Tulsa Jail. I think he should have gotten his nuts ripped off. I can't even begin to list off the myriad things wrong with what he did. $500 dollars is totally not a big enough fine for him. The complaint he was arrested for was encouraging a minor child to be in need of supervision but I don't see it that way so much as child endangerment. Some people just do not get it that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MUST YOU EVER LEAVE A CHILD ALONE IN A CAR FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME!!!! I don't give a fuck if you just ran into the corner store to grab some milk and you were only gone 30 seconds. The safety and life of your child is more important than the extra 10 minutes it will take to undo/redo the safety harnesses and all the extra hassle of bringing them indoors with you to grab that milk. I want to smack that man in the head and ask him "What's wrong with you? Where are your brains, in your ass? What were you thinking?" and of course his answer will be "I wasn't thinking". Of course you weren't. Obviously watching strippers is more important to you than your son, therefore you don't have to worry about him anymore. Congratulations, you have lost visitation rights for your son. You are an unfit parent, you filthy pervert.
A local fucktard story: I read a story on the front page of the local newspaper this morning that made me want to both cry and rip someone's spleen out through their right nostrel at the same time. The story was about a poor little kitten that someone had performed one of the worst mutilations on that the president of the local SPCA had ever seen. The few month old kitten was alerted to by a neighbour who had heard his screams and upon arrival the SPCA had found the baby with his testicles and part of his penis cut off with a pair of scissors. The kitten's genitals were so swolen and infected veterinarians who were trying to save his life were unsure if he would make it. If he did survive he would have to be hooked up to a catheter for the rest of his life. The suspect arrested claimed that he just found the kitten like that, he didn't do it. Riiiiiight... you just happened to find a suffering and maimed kitten and don't take it to the vet WHY?? Mr. Shit-for-brains also didn't think that his story would be investigated but shortly after he made that statement a woman contacted the police claiming he had just adopted that kitten and his sibling from her home a few days before. She had advertised that she was giving away kittens free to a good home and he adopted two of them. Unfortunately to her, he was not the caring individual he appeared to be when she met him. This man is a waste of skin. He does not deserve to have the daughter he claims to have adopted the kittens for, let alone have any living creature of any kind. He deserves to be behind bars for the rest of his life, but only after I am through with him ;-) If I could have my revenge I would love to cut his balls off with a pair of rusty scissors and ask him how it feels? Does it feel good? Does it hurt? Awww poor baby. How do you think that baby kitten felt when you did this to him, huh?!?!?! Fucker. Seriously, some people do not deserve to live. Um, scratch that... no people deserve to live.
Here's a two-parter for you that I found hilarious:
Oh My Gawd. When I read those I laughed my ass off. I can't believe that she actually tried to sue the store, as if the store has control over wild birds. She just shouldn't go outside. I mean I think it's stupid when people try to sue stores if they stub their toe on the doorway or trip going up a staircase. It's not the store's fault you're clumsy and you're not looking where you're going. Seriously though, this woman takes the cake. In the US you know that this suing everybody epidemic they have has gone way too far when you see things like this. Why doesn't she sue the park ranger for the grass stain on her pants, or the beach lifeguard because a crab pinched her foot. It's people like her that necessitate those ridiculous warning signs we see on just about every product that tell you not to do seemingly ludicrous things to them.
Anywho, now the obligatory dumb stories from work:
If you work in the service industry long enough and see a lot of customers you begin to wonder how any of them managed to get through elementary school. One woman today asked for one of our specialty burgers and I asked her if she would like the quarter pounder or the half pounder version of that burger, because it was available as either one. She then said "Well, which one is bigger?" I paused a second because I couldn't believe an adult asked me that. The education system has failed her.
I saw a small charicature once that depicted the average food service customer. It was an average looking cartoon man saying something along the lines of "I want extra stuff but I don't want to pay for it." I thought to myself that this cartoon hit it dead on the money. A prime example was a young man who came through drive thru the other night and asked for a medium smarties blizzard. Then he said "... and can you add a little bit of extra smarties in there for me." "You want extra smarties?" I asked. "No... I just want a little bit more because last time I got one with no smarties in it."
I rolled my eyes at that point because I seriously doubted that he ever got a blizzard with NO smarties in it. Yeah, right buddy. We gave you just a cup with some icecream in it and no toppings whatsoever. I don't think so. Nobody on our front counter staff is *that* incompetant and I can guarantee that. So he pulls up to the window and the Assistant Manager has just finished making the blizzard. I take his money and he says "So can you just add a little bit extra smarties to that blizzard for me? Sure you can. You can do that for me. You've great customer service." I was kind of taken aback by the pushiness of this manipulative little prick. I had no doubt whatsoever that this blizzard contained the exact correct measurement of smarties and was the peak of blizzard perfection, as it was made with the expertise of the Assistant Manager. I explained to him that I couldn't add "just a little extra" smarties because our dispenser dishes out measured scoops, it's not possible to get a little, I'd have to add a whole extra scoop. Then he says "So go ahead, you do that." Infuriated by the ballsiness of this smug asswipe I walked around the corner where he couldn't see me and stood there a moment as a wicked grin spread across my face. I waited another moment, holding the blizzard, and walked back over to the window. With a smirk, I handed him his blizzard and told him to have a nice day, all the while relishing my tiny bit of vengeance ;-) No, I will not be pushed into giving you extra toppings for free today.
Why is it that some people when they have a complaint, feel the need to yell and scream and curse until they get what they want? It is so much easier if you talk to someone in a calm, rational voice and you are far more likely to have your complaint taken seriously. I mean if there is a big problem I can see why you might be angry but yelling and screaming about it isn't going to solve anything any faster. For example a customer came in the other day with a bag containing some burgers and fries, asked to see a supervisor/manager and demanded his money back for his burgers. One of the other supervisors, Kris, handled the complaint as I was serving customers in drive-thru at the time. Kris asked the usual questions such as "What was wrong with the burgers? Did you come through drive-thru or front counter? Would you like a replacement?" and other questions to try to determine where we might have gone wrong and to try to find out which order was his... stuff like that. He ranted and raved instead that he wanted his money back and didn't really answer any of the questions... I didn't remember serving him and neither did Kris and we didn't see his order on any of our cash registers, we couldn't figure out what went wrong. Every passing second the guy stood there he got angrier and angrier until our manager came upstairs and the guy started yelling and screaming at her when she started asking the same kinds of questions Kris had. He just continued to yell and curse and get angrier with every passing second as my manager also tried to figure out which order was his to try to determine how much she was supposed to refund him for. It was around this time that the manager was able to pry the important information out of him that his girlfriend had purchased the burgers four hours ago. Four Hours!! Well duh the food is cold, genius! Any food is going to be cold after FOUR Hours!
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