Oh you know this is gonna be good. I thought I'd start off with an old tale from work... this tale comes complete with a valuable lesson that everybody can learn from.

 

It was a normal day at DQ, it was mid afternoon and it wasn't too busy. One man came in and wandered over to a cash, staring intently at our meal deal menu. I asked if I could get something for him. He stared at the menu for a moment and he asked for a number 1 and a number 2, an ulitmate meal and a double cheese meal. In my head I didn't think too much of it, he might have a friend joining him later. When I asked him what he'd like to drink with them I became aware that this guy was out of it. He stared at the pop for a bit before he decided on pepsi. At that time the double cheese meals came with a free sundae. I asked him what kind of sundae he wanted. The conversation went a little like this:

"What kind of sundae would you like, sir?"

"What?"

"What would you like on your sundae?"

"Um... what?"

"You know your double cheese meal?"

"Yeah..."

"It comes with a free sundae."

"Yeah..."

"What kind of sundae would you like?"

"Oh.... uhhhh.... uhhhhhhhhh..... uhhhhhhhh.... cherry."

"Ok."

I poured the drinks and got the sundae ready, then I put his two meals on the tray. This was when he noticed the poster for the Macho Meal. He then ordered that meal. I have no idea why, and I don't even think he knew why. Nobody else had come to join him. Now, the macho meal is a triple burger, large fries, and a large pop. This on top of two other meals. I put his third meal on his tray while he stood there munching on his fries. He then pulled a twenty out of his pocket and stared at the menu board. I asked him if there was anything else I could help him with. He took a minute, said no, and continued to stare at the menu board and eat his fries. I stood there a moment, waiting to see if he was going to order anything else as he still had a twenty in his hand. After a few minutes I slowly wandered away to clean something. He still stood there munching on his fries, holding a twenty in his hand. I walked back over and asked again if there was anything else I could get for him. He said no and continued standing there eating his fries on the front counter. I walked away, hoping he'd catch the hint and do the same. My supervisor then came over and asked me if he was waiting for something. I told her no, he had all his food. She asked why he was still standing there with money in his hand. I told her I didn't know but I already asked if he wanted something else. She then walked over and said "Sir, is there something else you'd like?"

He stared at her a moment and replied "Well... I'd like to sit down and eat."

"Ok... go ahead." she said with a look on her face that questioned if this guy was for real.

The man then slowly looked down at his tray, slowly picked it up, and shuffled his way over to a table.

It was everything my supervisor and I could do to keep from laughing.

Nobody ever came to join him.

Half an hour later he left and my morbid curiosity made me want to go and see just how much of it he actually ate.  He ate most of the triple cheese, half the double cheese, one and a half fries, and half the sundae. The rest of the sundae was smeared aross the table. Only one of the drinks was gone, the ultimate burger wasn't even touched, it was just a horrendous waste. I mean next time he gets that stoned he might as well just flush his money down the toilet, at least he wouldn't have to go anywhere and it might be more entertaining to watch. If he hadn't fried most of his braincells already he might have had the idea to maybe take some of it home for later. Hopefully he will have learned that stoned, hungry, and rich doesn't make a good combination.

 

I really get pissed off by people who believe that the world revolves around them. No matter what you are doing you have to drop whatever it is and obey their every whim. A prime example of this obnoxious kind of person is a lady who picked an incredably busy lunch hour rush to order an icecream cake. She didn't care that I had a long lineup of people ordering lunches, I had to stop whatever I was doing to help her pick out a picture on her cake. Everybody else had to stand there and wait for her to be finished. At one point she was looking through a book of pictures and I took that moment to serve some other customers who had been waiting patiently for her to finish up. The woman saw this and got irate because she now had some questions and my attention was being diverted from her. She tried shouting her questions at me and I attempted to answer them in between orders, but apparently this was not good enough for her, she needed someone's undivided attention. She tried shouting questions to my supervisor on the other cash but with similar success. My supervisor and I were trying desperately to get the huge lunch lineup moving as quickly as possible. No, I hadn't forgotten about her, I planned to get back to her as soon as I was able.

At this point the woman she had had enough. Other people were coming before her, she couldn't have that. She pushed her way to the front of the lineup and shouted "Would somebody sing to me please!!!"

I stopped a second and stared at her in confusion. What the hell did she just say?? Did she ask someone to SING to her?!?! What the hell kind of weird-ass expression is that? So of course I *had* to drop whatever I was doing to help her with her cake order and leave the rest of the customers standing there waiting for their food. This is not the first time that people have tried to order cakes during busy lunches but the majority of them wait patiently until someone has a free moment to take care of them. We do apologize for the delay and most of them are quite understanding after seeing the long lunch lineup. This woman didn't care in the least.

 

 

The other day I was glad I wasn't working because I would have completely blown up at one woman. She came in to order a cake and was served by one of my co-workers, Doris, who happens to be hearing-impaired. She's a really good worker and she's also a supervisor. She has good customer service skills despite the fact she can't hear what customers are saying. She can lip read very well and as long as you look at her when you are talking and don't talk too fast or mumble she doesn't have too much of a problem understanding what you are saying. However, this one woman, if I ever meet her in person I will smack the shit out of her for being such a rude and ignorant bitch. Doris was on front counter and the woman came in and said she'd like to order a cake. Doris proceeded to ask her when she'd like to order the cake for, which kind of cake she'd like, the standard questions we ask first when someone asks to order a cake. The woman stared at her with this horrified and disgusted look on her face and said flatly "I'd like to talk to someone else." Doris, deeply offended, went to grab someone else from the cake department. They came out and continued to take this woman's order, all the while the woman continued to scowl as though she had been somehow dirtied. Every time Doris would come near to the counter where the woman stood, she would immediately move a few feet away. Every one of the staff there that day wanted to say something to this rude and ignorant woman, possibly write something nasty on her cake (ie. Happy Birthday Bitch), or even spit on her cake. She singlehandedly put everyone there in a horrible mood with her blatant bigotry. All the staff there couldn't believe that she acted that way, right in front of everyone, especially Doris. I am serious, I wish I could have been there but not as an employee, then I wouldn't have to feel bad about saying things like "What's wrong with you? It's not like she has leprosy, she's deaf. She's not contageous. Oooooh don't get to close, you might catch Deaf. Bitch." I can't stand bigotry, It just pisses me off.

 

Anywho, onto funnier things...

 

I heard a couple of bonehead stories from some friends who work in a call center doing cell phone tech suppport. There was this one woman who kept getting disconnected whenever anybody tried to call her. So my friend asked what she was doing and she said that whenever the phone rang she pressed the "Press When Ringing" button. My friend was like "what press when ringing button?" and she was like "the P.W.R. button". My friend told her it's not press when ringing it's a condensed version of the word Power and every time her phone rang she inadvertantly turned her phone off.

 

Another customer was calling to complain that he was getting no signal whatsoever from his cell phone. My friend asked the guy where he was calling from and he said "the atlantic ocean." My friend had to bite his tongue as he told him that the reason for the lack of reception was the lack of towers in the middle of the ocean. He wanted to ask the guy if he expected flipper to swim on over to his boat and crap out a tower, but he didn't :-(  It would've been funny if he did say that though.

 

And finally the dumbest of the dumb. A guy with a very southern accent calls up and says that he has a problem with his phone. It seems he accidentally dropped his phone in a bucket of paint. Then he proceeded to dunk his phone into some turpentine to get rid of the paint. Then his phone got sticky so he washed his phone in some water, now his phone just says "Roaming". My friend's reply to this was "Sir, I'm suprised your phone says anything at all."

Duh.

 

More to come later.